dear nicholas –
you have grown to love hearing stories about when you were little, the way you use to say or do things, and funny things you do through out the day. i thought i would take the time to share some recent stories with you. maybe one day you will look back at these and smile, or maybe even laugh.
one day last week we went scouting for bluebonnets, you agreed to come along because i mentioned there would be butterflies for you to catch. off we went, with your bug house in one hand and net in the other. i know how much you love bluebonnets – so i told you to take the bluebonnets home that had been knocked over. that was a mistake- you gave me a very scared look and promptly told me NO!- that bluebonnets were illegal to pick and we could get arrested. i was about to tell you there was no one around to even see us but thought twice about that, what would that be teaching you! i could tell you were not thrilled to have mommy taking your picture by the eye rolling you were doing – so i asked you to tell me the worst word you knew. my thought was getting you to think about the ‘word’ would make you laugh. guess what – it worked! you blurted out as loud and proud as you could, SHIT! and then fell over into a pile of laughter.
when i asked you how you learned that word – you looked at me and said you! guilty 🙂 – in a state of frustration earlier that day i might have said that word out loud. i apologized for saying a bad word and we talked about why i was frustrated – to which you quickly replied, shit! and giggled all over again.
often during dinner i will ask you and your brothers to tell me the best part of your day, or a moment when you were sad, something to get each of you talking – our days seem to fly by and i love having a moment when each of you can tell me what is important to you at that time. you told me last night at dinner that you do not like me to look ‘gold’ that you think i am prettier when i look like i usually do. i did not understand what you were trying to say at first, but then realized you were telling me in your own words that you like the mommy in work-out clothes with my hair pulled back or in shorts and a t-shirt, rather than when i am all dressed up. you said that i do not need all that jewelry and make up to be pretty – i am beautiful just like i am. you brought tears to my eyes and made me realize you are wise beyond years. i am so very thankful that you are able to see beauty on the inside and not base it on the way people look.
i love your passion for life nicholas, i love the way you view the world around you, i love your love for God, i love how you think about other’s feelings, i love your smile when you are trying not to smile – i love you!
thank you for being you!
please be sure to follow along and read Sarah Leonard’s letter to her son.